Disclaimer: This post will most likely have some information that would definitely qualify as TMI. I'm posting it because I wanted as much information as possible when I was going through it and I thought my input would help someone else.
I know that everyone's experience is different so take it for what its worth, but when I was pregnant and prior to pregnancy, I wanted to know what the heck it was all about. I felt like I always heard women say (in what always sounds like a negative tone) "yeah, wait till you get pregnant," or "wait till you have kids," or all the drama that's made about how it ruins your body and stuff. Anyhow, it made me NEVER want to have kids. I'm talking NEVER!!! Plus - they're freaking loud as heck at church and I was in primary long enough to scar me for life. But anyhow, I have to admit, the only reason I did it was because I knew that it was for sure my time. Inspiration - if you will. But even after I got pregnant I was a bit bummed out for the first few months. My life and body were ruined! Or so I thought...
People always say there is nothing they can tell you that could prepare you for the pain you'll feel during labor. Um, I beg to differ. I have 10 words for you...
Lactose intolerance, lower back pain, biggest crap of your life!!!
So I'm just going to tell you how it went down and maybe something will apply to you.
First off, I went natural, and in case you're not totally sure what this means... like myself, I was pretty clueless (which is why I have some stuff in italics below... that's all stuff I learned from the experience)... this means I did not get an epidural. I have a bunch of reasons for not...
- I'm afraid of the needle
- I had spinal surgery years ago
- I'm afraid of dealing with whatever consequences might come if the anesthesiologist screws up
- I'm not a fan of medication (for myself... but in general I know its a good thing to have)
- I had a funny little mess up in high school and now I can't stand not being in control of my body (drug-wise)
However, I did use morphine, and that was AWESOME!!!
The beginning of January I went in and was already dilated to a 2 and 75% effaced. The Dr thought I would pop by the end of the month and I was stoked!
75% effaced means 75% of my cervix was gone.
So, two weeks later I went back and I hadn't budged, except now I was 80% effaced. Two weeks went by and I was finally at a 3... but I stayed that way until my due date, which was February 10th. I wasn't moving at all and the Dr suggested I be induced. He knew I wanted to go natural so he said he's able to give me one more week but he couldn't promise there would be any change and I'd have to be induced by the end of that next week.
Going natural you don't want to be induced because it'll make your contractions a hundred times worse.
If you wait longer than a week past your due date it increases your chances of still birth.
So, the Dr. went out of the room and Jon and I started talking... if we wait, the baby will be bigger, I'll be pregnant another week, there's no guarantee it'll happen naturally and my birthday and our anniversary was that weekend. So we decided we'd find out our options when the Dr. came back in... The Dr.'s plan was this: Sunday the 12th at 10PM I'd check into the hospital, and they'd give me a dose of a cervidale.
Cervidale is used to thin out your cervix. My sister told me that when she got it, it was so painful she sat in the shower crying from the pain. This would be the first tier of pain.
Then at 6AM they would break my water.
Breaking the water makes the pain more severe. This would have been the second tier of pain.
Then they'd start me on petosin.
This is what they use when they say "you're being induced." Petosin is what puts you in labor and if you're going natural its very painful. Contractions have a gradual beginning, a peak and then a decline and they gradually get stronger... but with petosin they're sharper and you're not weened into the pain, it just starts. So its pretty painful.
Then he figured sometime around noon Knox would be delivered. I reluctantly agreed, knowing that if I wussed out, I didn't have to go to the hospital, I could just wait.
The Dr.'s big hope was that since I was at a 3 and 80% effaced that the cervidale would knock me into labor, but he wasn't going to count on that. This Dr. appointment was on Friday and I had until Sunday to make myself pop naturally... the only way to ensure I wouldn't be induced... I tried everything! Twice... Nothing worked.
I like to test myself and this seemed like the ultimate test to me, but I have to admit, Saturday night I was balling in the shower because of being so freaked out! I kept going back and forth on sticking with Sunday or wussing out. But every time I prayed about it, I knew it was right, and there were a lot of little things that told me it was right. The scriptures I would open up to all had to do with manning up and facing your fears for the greater good and that the experience would benefit me. The talks at church that day were all on the same topic... and the funny thing. Like during the whole pregnancy I kept telling Jon I wanted it to rain when I went into labor... it rained that day. LOL. I know its silly but it meant something to me... Anyhow, I knew it was right... so I went...
So at 10PM we went to the hospital. I told the nurse the Dr's goal about the cervidale knocking me into labor and she laughed and said that she'd been a nurse for 15 years and had only seen that work once... Jon and I just looked at each other... I think we were both counting on that saving me from the pain. But anyhow, by 11PM they had given me my first dose of cervidale and told me to go to sleep that tomorrow would be a long day... so I did... Well, as much as I could... the delivery bed is not as comfortable as a regular hospital bed. Anyhow, at 3:30AM the nurse woke me up and asked if I was feeling any contractions. I wasn't but apparently they were coming every 3-4 minutes. So she gave me another dose and told me to go back to bed... so I did...
Cervedales can be given two different ways... one goes "down there"... the other is a pill. My sister got the first and that might be why hers was so painful... I got the pill and didn't notice any changes happening to my body.
So that was at 3:30AM and at 4:30AM I woke up with what felt like a sift, extremely direct kick, with perfect aim, right in the butt. I didn't know if I suddenly had to rock one, or if Knox had just hit me, or if it was a dream... it was so sharp and quick that I was like... did that really happen? Then the stomach ache started and I was like, OH NO! I'm having a lactose intolerance attack. CRAP! Worse timing ever!!! So I got up and was a little freaked out bracing myself at the foot of my bed, I wasn't sure what to do... I stood frozen for about 15 minutes before I woke Jon up and asked him if he was feeling sick, but he was fine. Then the lower back pain gradually started with each spell of lactose intolerance pain and Jon told me to call the nurse... so I did...
Funny thing... Jon had a kidney stone years ago and thought he was having a lactose intolerance attack... people say kidney stones are the closest a guy can come to feeling the pain of having a baby... so when I was trying to figure out what it would feel like, Jon said, "its probably like a lactose intolerance attack"... one of two people who described the pain the best... a guy... funny right!
So when the nurse came in she checked me and found that I was now dilated to a 5 and she offered me morphine, which I gladly accepted. It was awesome and totally took the lactose intolerance pain away and the edge off the lower back pain.
Lactose intolerance pains are like contractions because if they were on a graph they'd form a little hill. Starting soft, a gradual incline, a peak and then it descends as it fades away.
Anyhow, around 5 / 5:30AM I asked the nurse to check me again because the pain had taken a noticeable step up.
Also, for me, the lower back pain was the worst pain of the labor. Which is probably why they give epidurals because its to numb the lower back.
I was at an 8. With that the nurses jumped into gear and started to zip in and out, prepping the room. They told me that I would start to feel like I wanted to push but I shouldn't do that yet.
If you push before you're at a 10, I believe its your uterus... anyway, it can swell and that's bad.
To be honest it wasn't hard not to push. The only time it was, was when I had to pee and that's only because I was sitting on a toilet and labor feels like all the fuss is over one giant crap that you need to get out of your body.
Anyhow, when I went to the bathroom all my inhibitions were shot and I totally peed with the door open in front of Jon and a bunch of nurses coming in and out of the room. But the weird thing was that I couldn't pee, I think Knox's weight was stopping it. I had to push a little but was finally able to and with that a contraction started and I leaned over and asked Jon to rub my back... on the toilet and everything... but apparently when I leaned over Jon looked in the toilet and noticed that my water had broken but didn't want to tell me and freak me out. So he went out and tried telling the nurses but they weren't paying him much attention, so when I finally got out and they checked me again the nurse was like... did your water break? Jon was like... UH YEAH!
Apparently Jon knew it was the water that had broken because it was cloudy. I'm only telling you this because I always wondered if I would be confused and think I had peed myself. Apparently they look different so you'll be able to tell.
It was about this time that I started to feel like I had to crap and my body wanted to push (not in a gross poo way, but that's actually what labor feels like), so knowing that I wasn't supposed to push, every once in a while I'd just flex my stomach and it would lessen the urge.
At 6:30AM I was at a 10. They gave me the green light on pushing but I wasn't allowed to push too hard before the Dr. arrived.
Side note... people alway say that pushing makes the pain go away... I can't say that's totally true... it just makes the pain a little more subdued. If you push instinctively it was way less painful than when the nurses told me to push for 10.
When Dr. Ward finally entered the building, two nurses (one on each side) grabbed my legs, held them up to my chest and told me to bear down.
Bear down means to push as hard as you can.
I did but after the first go I knew it didn't feel right, I was pushing too soon and my body, though dilated to a 10, wasn't ready. Plus, for the first five seconds it takes the contraction pain away but at 5 the back pain would shoot back in and I'd lose any push power. Anyway, after that I pushed a few times at their demand but had they read my birth plan they'd know I wanted to push instinctively and this was not instinctively. So I kept pushing their hands away and trying to get them away from me but they kept trying.
For me, this knees to chest way of pushing is so uncomfortable. They only do it that way because it opens the junk up more. I tried the bath and walking for contractions and that didn't work at all for me. And even having Jon rub my back, like they always suggest, made the pain worse. It was best to just not have anyone touch me and take the pain myself. And even pushing, I felt best when I was laying on my back with my legs in the air criss crossed. I'd hold my feet with one and and push. That felt fabulous! But the nurses wouldn't let me do it, which now annoys the crap out of me, but whatever... I'll know for next time... if there is a next time...
Luckily the Dr arrived. I pushed a few times at their demand but kept asking to push instinctively and finally the Dr told them to let me do it at my own time. I was so grateful!!! So I took a few contractions, pushed my own way and then I was ready.
With that a bunch of nurses came back in, I now let them pull my knees up without fighting them and started to push. After a push or two the Dr said that there was an area that would most likely rip and so he cut it but I ripped anyway. Just a little bit though - luckily. I've heard horror stories about that.
Cutting is called an episiotomy. I told Dr. I didn't want one unless absolutely necessary. Now, along with that, I don't know if I ripped because of the episiotomy or if I ripped so little because of it. Like did it cause the rip or did it save me from something even worse? I don't know... But I wouldn't recommend getting it unless the Dr sees its necessary because it takes way longer to heal. And it was very hard to sit down for a little more than a week. I had to sit on pillows to work.
Anyhow, this last half... when I was at a 10... the sensation of having to crap was so strong. I kept telling Jon that I just wanted it to be over so I could rock one. I think I said it like every 10 minutes or less for who knows how long. And even more, it started to feel like the biggest crap of your life... The the crap of all craps... The crap to make all other craps seem like a shart... A crap that would seriously rip you a new one... you get the picture...
Anyhow, the reason it felt so intense was because it was the head. I don't remember really having the lactose intolerance pain anymore but the back pain was pretty bad, or maybe I'm just a wuss when it comes to back pain. So basically back and butt pain. Both were like really sharp pains... more like a sting.
But the best part... once the head came out all the pain was gone! And the body is all bumpy because of shoulders and legs and stuff... and its all slimy... so when that part came out it honestly felt like a little massage to the area that had just had so much pain. It honestly made it feel better. Heavenly Father knows what he's doing...
Last was the placenta and that hurts a little coming out, but after the head it felt like nothing.
Anyhow, that was labor for me and Knox was born at 7:58PM... I don't know that I'll do it again... and I don't judge people who want an epidural... I say kudos to them for having the balls to get it... I was a wuss... but all-in-all... if I had to do it again, I'd still go natural.
That's my labor story. Hope it didn't scare you to death, I hope it just gave you one account and you can use it as you please. I just hope it gives you a little glimps into what the experience was like for me so you're not totally clueless. So again, hope it helps.
PS. I gave credit to Jon for the lactose intolerance reference. Cass, my sister, coined the phrase "the biggest crap of your life," and both she and my mom warned me about the back pain.
OH! Tips...
- Everyone says to sleep in the hospital because you'll need it. Do! We just wrote that off and regretted it.
- If you've never really bathed a new born, go with the nurse to do it. Jon and I were clueless and still were, even after we watched the nurse but a few things stuck.
- Have something you can put the kid on after you have them... like a seat... so you don't have to hold them 24/7. Jon and I were sleep deprived and at a breaking point. A little swing saved us.
- Don't scrimp on diapers! Pampers are the best, Huggies suck... they leak like crazy!
- And despite what everyone says, YOU CAN OVERFEED A BABY!!! We did because he had a stomach ache and thought it meant he was hungry.
- Diaper rash - screw meds... use bag balm (you can get it in the meds section of Costco or on Amazon), and cornstartch. Took it away in a day and you don't have to call poison control if you get it near their face. :)
- The people who bring you food are lifesavers because you probably would forget to eat if they weren't there!!!
And about your body -
- People say you drop 20lbs instantly... Not so for me... I dropped 10 sometime in the first week, then another 10 after the 1st month, and so forth... I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight 3-4 months after I popped.
- One thing no one mentioned was that it hurt like CRAZY to take care of buidness afterward... I'm talking about rocking a duce... I don't know what it feels like to anyone else but I would go to the farthest bathroom because I would be in tears... it went on for about 6 months... horrible, horrible pain!!! Well, I just found out like a month ago that you're not supposed to have that pain. It means there was a tear inside that I didn't get fixed right away. It of course healed over time but tell your Dr. if you have severe pain while taking care of buidness... they have a pill you can take (or something like that) that will heal it
- Not everyone gets roids. I did not! And I'm so grateful!!! That was one of my biggest fears!!!
