My due date was February 19th (my birthday). On February 20th I still hadn't delivered so I went in for my last checkup. I was dilated to a 4, 90% effaced, and just waiting for my water to break. My Dr. was certain it would happen before I'd have a chance to be induced the following Friday but to play it safe we scheduled it, in the off chance my worst case scenario actually played out.
If you don't remember or haven't read any of my previous posts on labor, I am opposed to an epidural. Not because I think they're bad. I wish I had the guts to get one, but having had spinal surgery years ago, I am terrified of the possible ways a shot in my already altered spine could go wrong. I'm more afraid of mishaps than I am of the pain caused by pushing a human being out of your buiz. I know... kind of pathetic... but oh well...
The following Sunday and Monday (the 22nd and 23rd) we were at my sister's house so I did a few hours each night of Michael Jackson's Just Dance. It was kind of intense and I felt fairly certain that the combination of my Dr. stripping my membranes at my last appointment (on the 20th) and intense dancing would do the trick but as of Monday night, still nothing had happened.
So Monday, before we left my sister's house, we confirmed with her that if I went into labor while at work I would drive to the hospital and Cass would go pick Jon up from Layton and drive him back to Lakeview Hospital in Bountiful... The down side was that I wouldn't see Jon for about an hour and a half after I went into labor - Heck! With my first being 3.5 hrs long, we basically could have a baby by then! But we only have one car and I can't afford to miss work, so we didn't have many other options. Then my mom proposed an alternative plan with her as the driver and it suddenly all felt like it was getting overly complicated, so even though we were not completely happy with any of our options we reluctantly agreed and left.
That night Jon and I said our prayers and afterward Jon said, "I know you want to experience your water breaking and rushing to the hospital, but I want to experience it too. Why don't you go to your meeting tomorrow and then come home and work from here. We'll set the office up and you can work in there." It was a brilliant idea! The next day, Tuesday the 24th, I got up and said my prayers. Backtracking a little bit... the day before when Jon and I prayed we asked specifically for it to happen today, but this time I simply prayed that it would happen when it would give me the least amount of pain so I wouldn't have to get an epidural, and if I had to use pitocin, that I would be able to handle the pain so I wouldn't have to get an epidural!!!
Side note: I really think getting an epidural is on my list of my absolute greatest fears!!!
Anyhow, I left for work at 8:45am and arrived at the office 45 minutes later. Little did I know that during my drive there was a texting conversation that said my meeting was postponed, so on arriving to the office I simply forwarded my calls and left. I must have gotten home around 10:15 and so by 11am I had started working again, this time in our newly set up office.
Around 1pm I went into the family room because I could hear Knox saying that he wanted me to change his diaper as opposed to Jon. I had him lay on the ground and as I knelt down to change it I felt or heard this faint internal pop and warm water gushed out... my water had broken...
The gross thing about your water breaking that I didn't notice with Knox... you feel like you're peeing on yourself over and over again until you pop that kid out! Because your body keeps producing amniotic fluid, so you just keep "peeing" on yourself. It might be one of the grossest feelings ever!!! Whenever it happened, which was like every 15 minutes, I would say "OH GROSS! Make it stop!!!"
Jon raced around, loading bags, making calls, etc, and I ran up to wash off and change clothes.
Taking a shower was a bad idea. I don't know if they always do this but they had to take a test to confirm my water had indeed broken but I had washed everything away... made the whole thing a lot more difficult for the nurses...
When the test results came back and they saw that my water had actually broken they checked me in and hooked me up to the machines. The only problem was that I wasn't actually in labor. My water had broken but I wasn't progressing past a 4, and I was having no contractions, or at least no labor contractions, and nothing consistent.
At 7pm the nursing staff changed and the nurse that took over was the lead. She was completely straight forward and direct as she explained my options. I was glad that she was so blatant.
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| This was like 30 minutes or less after he popped out... I was a little tired... |
Basically I had 24 hours from 1pm to deliver this baby. My body wasn't going into labor so unless I could naturally induce myself by vigorous activity, they'd have to induce me. My inducing options were this. They could start me off with a very small amount of pitocin and then gradually increase it as needed. If I chose not to do this route it's possible my body wouldn't go into labor and then the next day, when the doctor arrived, he'd have to start me on a larger dosage of pitocin to force me into labor. I wasn't going to get an epidural so either I could go the less painful route or the more painful route. If we waited and I refused pitocin, and still didn't go into labor, they'd have to perform a C-section on me. She gave me 15 minutes to decide.
Jon was great! He kept reminding me that even though she seemed authoritative and made her comments sound finite, I was the one in control of how my delivery would go.
Unfortunately, even though I knew that was the case, I could tell that my body wasn't going to start contracting normally and I felt like during my morning prayer, I somehow knew that I would need to use pitocin. But I had to trust that Heavenly Father would help me to keep it within reason so I wouldn't need an epidural. I felt like it was right, so when Heidi (the nurse) returned, I told her that I would go with pitocin, but she wouldn't be allowed to turn it up unless I agreed to it and if I needed it turned back down, she'd have to. She didn't totally agree with my limitations... she just reiterated her stance on it, to which I countered with my own stance. I don't think we ever really agreed with each other but we moved forward. On a positive note Heidi said she'd give me 45 minutes to try to knock myself into labor before they started the drip so Jon and I jumped right in. We did 5 flights of stairs over and over again, up and down, then laps around the hospital, and last, we resorted to the Thriller dance routine. Nothing work...
Around 9pm we started me on the pitocin drip. It was at a 2, which Heidi said was less than 1/4 teaspoon per hr. I was fine with that. We then called my brother-in-law to have him come help Jon give me a blessing. They must have arrived around 9:30pm because when they arrived, the nurse left and Jon and I looked over at the drip... she had raised it to a 4 without telling me... I mean, I knew it would need to be raised... I wasn't having contractions still (I had 1 in 30 minutes), but it was the principle of her doing it without my approval. I wasn't cool with that but I tried ignoring it so my mind could be in the right place for a blessing.
I don't remember what Jon said during the blessing but I remember the distinct impression that I would deliver before midnight and I would be able to do it without an epidural. That was all I needed.
Almost immediately after they left, which was around 9:45 or 10pm I started having consistent contractions. They were about 6 minutes apart but after 30 minutes of it at that pace Heidi insisted we increase the pitocin to a 5. Sometime during it being at a 4 I felt myself dilate further and I asked Heidi to check me but she said she wanted to wait. Jon was not happy with her attitude but I agreed on the condition that if I need it turned back down, she would have to turn it down! Heidi just started talking about raising it to a 6 next but I was like... If I can't handle 5, we're not going to 6! She didn't say anything and left the room. Within minutes of it being at a 5 I was having strong contractions back to back. They were literally happening every minute. I couldn't handle it. They felt like I was dilated to an 8 or 9 but I was only at a... I guessed between a 5 and 7. Anyhow, Heidi came back in and I asked her to turn it down because they're happening so quickly but she was like... "No, those contractions aren't coming every minute." I was like... DUDE! Are you going to believe me or the machine!!! I didn't say that but man I wanted to.
Side note: I didn't not say it because I was trying to be kind... I didn't say it because A.) I was so focused on what was going on with my body I couldn't really think about my frustration with her, and B.) I wanted to keep myself focused to allow myself to stay in-tuned with the Spirit. I couldn't really think about my frustration with her until it was over, but by that time I was grateful for her... so... anyhow...
So, at this point Heidi finally checked me and found that I was dilated to a 7. She called the Dr. and told him to come over, and then started prepping the room. I was still having contractions like crazy so I asked her to turn it back to a 4. She didn't want to but I demanded. I was like "you have to, I can't handle it at this amount." Plus, I was progressing fast and I didn't technically need to have the kid till sometime the next day. We did not need to move faster than I could handle!!! She turned it back to 4 and I started having labor contractions at a steady 3 minutes apart. That probably happened around 10:45pm. Now at 4, I was good. Yes, it was painful but she had finally allowed me to have the painkiller that takes the edge off... basically it takes one of two pains away. The lactose intolerance pain disappears but you still have the lower back pain. So when I'd get a contraction I just had to roll to the side and wait out the lower back pain. This felt do-able!!!
At some point during this time I asked her to check me again, I could tell I had dilated further... it must have been 11pm by this time and she found I was dilated to a 9. About 10 minutes later the Dr. still hadn't arrived and I knew I wasn't allowed to push till I was at a 10 so I... as casually as I could... said "I kind of want to push, is he close???" She was like, "He's almost here, so tell me when you're at the point of needing to push." I was like "I NEED TO PUSH!" She came and checked me again and I was already at a 10. This kid was coming fast!!!
She then came straight to my side and started taking me through breathing exercises to help me resist pushing. It was hard! I would cross my legs and focus as much as I could to hold back. I think this happened about 5 times before he actually arrived. That was difficult!!!
You can't push till you're at a 10 because if you do you could make your cervix swell, or something like that... but it's really bad. And well, the Dr. wasn't there so pushing would be bad for that reason too. But let's just be gross and real here for a quick second... imagine you have the fattest load that you need to drop and a turtle head is pokin' out... and it's READY... and then you're told you can't go, you need to hold that bad boy in for who knows how long... TORTURE RIGHT!!! That's what it felt like...
When he got there Heidi told him to suit up ASAP and as he did they pulled my knees to my chest and allowed me to start pushing.
A few side notes on why this sucked. Your joints are loose so they pop in and out of place, when they pulled my knees up at some point during pushing my right hip bone popped out and I cried asking them to let my legs down but they wouldn't. My upper body flopped for a second like a fish trying to get my leg back in place while it was in such an awkward position. I don't know that it did exactly but it was close enough to be bearable.
I only pushed max 7 times and the kid was out. He was delivered at 11:35pm. The funny thing is that it happened so quickly that his head didn't have time to go cone shaped so he came out with a normal round head.
Admittedly, I wanted to push instinctively but however he was positioned... he was maybe on a nerve in my bladder or something... because whenever I would have a full bladder I would have sharp pains until I went to the bathroom. So when I was delivering that pain was magnified by a million it felt like!!! The burning sting shooting from my bladder was literally twice as bad as normal labor pains. I knew that the sting wouldn't stop until he got out so I just kept pushing as hard as I could. When it was done it seemed like everyone went to the baby and I just laid there crying saying "It hurt so bad! I can't believe it hurt so bad!"
If you're thinking about going natural it's totally do-able. The only reason it was so painful this time for me was because of the bladder pain. From my experience there are 4 stages of labor pain:
- Stage 1 - dilated from 5-6 - lactose intolerance pain
- Stage 2 - dilated from 7-8 - lactose intolerance pain and lower back pain (like hip bone pain)
- Stage 3 - dilated to a 9 - lower back pain increases so much that you forget the lactose pain
- Stage 4 - dilated to a 10 - lower back pain and major "I need to crap" pressure!!!
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| Captured Jon and Knox having a very serious conversation about the new addition... Knox was iffy... ;) |
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